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This year represents a ten-year milestone since the term “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the notion that someone could abruptly cease contact with a lover without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, navigating toward a mate has only become more perplexing – an commonly fruitless endeavor in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by online lingo.

Gen Z, a generation who matured during a social isolation epidemic, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated attack on the freedoms of women and the LGBTQ+ community, faces a far messier environment than their Gen Y predecessors could ever imagine. And so their dating lexicon has grown longer and more deranged, with terms like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” straining the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

What follows is a extensive guide to the terms this generation is using to navigate love, sex and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the year’s most viral online sayings, by the end of this glossary you’ll yearn to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it lacks “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Genuineness – For gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is showing up as your true, raw self. Good luck with that!

B

Bird theory – A social media test connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and note whether your partner’s response is engaged or dismissive. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Zoomers' response to the “quirky fantasy girl” trope of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend focuses on her own needs while exuding enigma and independence. (She might still have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This signifies choosing someone who aids you unprompted. If you entered a room, they would get a chair for you to sit down.

Task-based bonding – A meet-up where two people bond while doing chores, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained young adults do budget-friendly romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel burdened by life. You can crash out over a crush or breakup, spilling all of your (unrequited) emotions.

D

Dink – Two incomes, no children. Once a marker of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Emotional vibe coding – The opposite of playing it cool: embracing dialogue, honesty and openness.

F

Indicators

• Red flags – Behavioral traits suggesting a prospective partner is not right. For instance calling their exes unstable, subpar tipping habits, a love of Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks affirm your choice to date a mate. Examples include checking in to make sure you got home safely after a date, low screen time, owning a proper bed …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, mostly benign idiosyncrasies. Such as being an enthusiastic ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you find someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or DVD collecting or art or anything it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same things or people that you do (few things creates closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

Geese – A musical group your gen Z boyfriend listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of disappearing.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is friendly, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a mysterious partner's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt marathon sessions, deliberately delaying orgasm so they can continue as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

High-value woman – An archetype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is attractive, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

I

Icks – Random and usually everyday dealbreakers that immediately shut down any feelings of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an extremely romantic gesture.

The Letter J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate catch: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd seek out partners in professions they see as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, scientists learned that kissing has been around for 16 million years. But the era of kissing may be limited since some Zoomers want fewer intimate scenes in movies, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Catfishing-lite. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) photos of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {